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SEARCHING



Every morning I'd ask myself, what’s the essence? Maybe this way I'd find answers but not this morning. No questions, no answers. With the sun filtering across my bed, I knew I had over slept again. I stretched and picked my phone to check the time. Abari would be in class in 30 minutes and yet again, I had a silly reason for being late.
 "The key to hard work is discipline, learn it!" he'd say later to me in his office. Friday mornings were usually sleep ins for me but ever since Abari added Fridays to his lecture days, I've been unfairly robbed of that. It’s been only a year and I'm already in the web of a lecturer's net....at least that's how I view it. My first meeting with Abari baffled me. I would never imagine it and still don't see its essence. I mean why would a lecturer develop interest? I was talking with Emeka while playing my temple run at the faculty love garden when the course rep walked up.
"Mr. Abari wants you to see him before school ends today and you are to come alone". He said nodding towards me.
"Meaning what? Why? Did I do something?" 

"I don't think you did because he didn’t sound wronged but I don't know why he wants to see you"
"Okay" I answered. He turned and left.
"Why would Mr. Abari want to see you?" Emeka tugged at me.
"How would I know that? You just heard me ask him that. I don't get your questions at times. Let’s go and see him since there's no lecture on now"
"I also remember him saying you are to go alone" he snapped
I smiled. "Like I don't know that already. I’m sorry about the way I talked. Let’s go and see him, you'd wait outside. Don’t think it would take long".
Emeka wouldn't let me rest the rest of the day. "Wow Abari of all lecturers like you. You are one lucky...”
 "I didn't say he likes me o, don't quote me wrong" I said cutting him short.
"He wants to meet with you on a weekly basis, discuss problem areas with you including courses that are not his. That could be equated to making himself your private tutor and on what grounds? Emeka sang, you are brilliant and he would like to help you develop. Isn’t that like if not love even? I wouldn't be saying you are lucky if you were a girl. This is the rarest of all opportunities"
"I'm not even interested, it’s unsettling. I just don't want it. He should find someone else. You maybe, since you're all over the place about it and you're brilliant too".
"You see, that's your problem. Any student, reasonable one sorry to, say would grab this opportunity. You never appreciate rare opportunities maybe because you don't get them rare" He said replied, unhappy. There was a palpable silence.
"See harry, I don't mean to insult you or anything, you are my friend and I have your best interest at heart therefore I'll tell you the truth. A man should be certain. He knows what he wants and follows it. Time is not always on our side. Don't be drawn around. Make your decision. If you have a reason or a desire over something, you'd perform better than anyone. Find that reason if not here, then in something else, At least you have the opportunity to follow what you want not what you get so, want something! It’s important."
And that's how I started attending Friday lectures but today I wasn't only late I wanted to miss lectures. I was tired. Then my phone buzzed. Abari's lecture shifted. Best news ever. I set my alarm, stretched happily and slept off.
The continuous buzzing of my phone woke me. It was a text from Emeka. I opened it and jumped from my bed. Oh no! How could I forget again?!

To be continued same time next week.
Love
         Kambi 
photo credit: huffingtonpost.com

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****
'Emeka is that you?' I asked expecting otherwise

'Nope' answered a female voice.

 Ha! I knew no girl, so who could that be.

'Who then?' I said getting up.

'It’s dera your classmate.'

I didn’t know any dera but it would be rude bombarding her with questions with the door to her face plus I didn’t even know anyone in my class.
I opened the door but it was so dark that I couldn’t see her face.

'Ah! It’s dark already, I didn’t know that. Please come in.'

'Thank you' she said stepping in. I was beginning to think that you were dead or something worse.

'What could be worse than dead?'

'I don’t know' she shrugged.

I now remembered her. The overly outspoken girl in the class who somehow, always had her manners with her but would always interfere when not wanted. Emeka would write me down for not knowing her name. Everyone knew her because of her interference spirit. She had not interfered in my business because I had not cr…

THANKFUL FOR HIS HELP

Eshe ibitetibere
Eshe ibitebade
Adukpe o Jesu
Ibite muwa lo

My heart is filled with gratitude. At the end of last year, I wasn’t in a good place. There was this heart-gnawing fear. A new phase was coming in my life and the uncertainty of the future just ate me away. My relationship with God was on a zig-zag lane and the downward lane seemed to last for longer periods than the upward. I was honestly so scared about the future. A lot of what ifs.