Good morning
dear readers. Hope the week has been going well? This post is just to add one
more colour to life. This is something I’ve watched and noticed over time
around me and everywhere; with friends, family, teachers, strangers, you name
it. It has seeped into our being. I’m talking about assumption. It’s become a
bane of life. Humans have the tendency to make assumptions about everything.
There are so many things that our mind cannot explain; we have all these
questions that need answers. But instead of asking questions when we don’t know
something, we make all sorts of assumptions. We start to imagine all kinds of
ideas and stories. We start imagining what the other person is doing, what
they’re thinking, what they’re saying about us, and we dream things up in our
imagination. We end up with wrong and costly assumptions forgetting that
nothing has one meaning and that change is a constant factor.
Some time
back, I made a post on Facebook to once again confirm this theory. The update
said “am in love!” I had about 50 comments on that post and not one person
asked me in love with what or whom or cared to find out what the post was
about. Some assumed it was them, others assumed it was someone, some assumed it
was a guy somewhere, and some even assumed it was a laptop. Others already with
a concluded heart on what it was I was in love with, wished me well. That statement
could mean a lot of things, a whole wide range of things but everyone that
commented just assumed without caring to find out what. I’m someone that always
talk ironically, courtesy of the friend behind the blog, so the update could
mean that I hated something. Funny enough, most of the commenters don’t know me
personally, so on what thesis they made their conclusions; I still don’t know.
This assumption
has wreaked havoc mostly in relationships. We assume he/she did that for a
reason when it actually isn’t. I had a friend who always made assumed reasons
for my actions. For that friend, the reason for that act could never pass those
assumed reasons. Funny enough, most times, my friend was wrong but wouldn’t
agree. Yes, sometimes, we know someone so well, but other times, especially in
important issues, assumption is a wrong road to take.
Most times, the assumption is not
what destroys, it is acting on it that does, taking proactive steps on what you
are not even 100 percent sure about. The problem with making assumptions is
that we accept it as the truth, we cook up a whole story to explain something
and believe it then we make more assumptions and then act based on it. We send
out poison with our words, create a lot of drama and issue and end up destroying
a relationship. These constant spate of assumption leads to fights, quarrels,
disagreement and end of many relationships. The other party is always shocked beyond belief.
We forget that people are different,
they don’t think like we do, or feel the way we do or react the way we react. We
make an assumption and we are so sure about it and then we act on it. Humans may
have related attributes but it’s wrong to make assumptions in crucial matters. Personally
speaking, people assume a lot about me because they think they know my kind of
person (not knowing I’m a different breed) and they most times turn out to be
soo wrong that its painful and with how made up their minds are, you can’t even
get one word out of your mouth that will be believed. Most times, I just let
them assume and apologize just so it will pass away quickly because I hate
having issues with people but then, the wound, takes time to heal depending on
how large it was.
Funny enough, there is a very simple
solution to assumption: COMMUNICATION. Many relate communication to marital or
romance involved relationships but I relate it to all types of relationships. If
you don’t tell your hairdresser what she is doing is not your choice, how would
she know? Communication is important in all relationships. It kills the pain,
torture and embarrassment that is the aftermath of assumption. Why not ask
instead of making very wrong conclusions.
Stop making assumptions with
everyone in your life. Focus on the truth. See life as it is not the way you
want to see it. You might be pretty damn convinced (most times, based on
conjured up thoughts) but ask first. Assumptions, especially wrong ones can be
pretty damn hurtful. You can never know a person too well because change is
constant even if it’s a minute change.
Please do make use of the share buttons and drop a comment before you leave.
Love
Kambi
Please do make use of the share buttons and drop a comment before you leave.
Love
Kambi