Skip to main content


Good morning lovelies. Happy New week! Last week I blogged about 'in the tunnel', you can read the post here, and I promised to be back with practical steps of how to move in the tunnel.

'Tunnel is an analogy for tough times’
‘Light is an analogy for when it becomes better’

Many talk to us about persisting in difficulties. When we find ourselves in a dark place, in the tunnel, we should move on because the light is nearby. But not many tell us what to do as "moving on". In the illustration I gave about the tunnel, all you have to do is get up and move. But when we are no more using the analogy, when we apply it to our lifes, what exactly do we do as the "getting up and moving"?
E.g You've been hurt in a relationship, probably you were together for years only for your partner to end it all and you have tried so hard to forget and let go but your heart is still a sea of hurt and nothing makes sense anymore - how exactly then do you "get up and keep moving"?

I have just three ways

First, stop trying. All the efforts and work you have been doing to better your situation, just stop it all today. Then go back to your maker (God) and tell Him that what He created is malfunctioning. If our phone or Car for e.g develop issues, we open it or touch it here and there to get it working. It works and after some time, it malfunctions again. We touch it here and there and keep managing it. After some time, we realize we have to take it to the phone repairer or mechanic. We simply just have to stop with the managing and touching cause it has become too bad. And i keep wondering why we have to wait this long and even damage it some more before taking it for repairs as we should have done from the start.
So, we go to our maker, once He steps into our situation, He knows what to do, He tells us what to do and if you follow through, your problem is solved. He helps us understand the whys plaguing our minds. You go to your creator first, lay it bare before Him, your confusion, your sorrow, your heart, everything. Just as it's the case with the mechanic or phone repairer, he points out all the faults and repairs it or make necessary recommendations for you. This is the first and foremost step. It alone is enough even.

Secondly, while you have laid it bare, remember that things don't just automatically get better. You won't get your phone or your car immediately.  It will take time. That 'time' can get you discouraged and angry to the point of lashing out or giving up. So step two is, you need someone to talk to. A mentor, role model, guardian, parent, friend whichever that will help you through this 'time'. Be weary of the person you choose to share your problems with else they come bearing suggestions and solutions like those you tried earlier before meeting your creator. It feels so much better to walk through pain with someone holding your hands, guiding you, reminding you that there is a light you are getting to, reminding you that you deserve better and no need crying over spilt milk, reminding you of the few good days you laughed. It feels so much  better. If you deal with it alone, it takes only God for you not to get drowned in the pain so much so that you start thinking of taking your life. Talk to someone! There might be a link or an advise that will do the trick. So much Pain cannot be held inside that's why people scream when they feel pain. If you are reading this post and find yourself in same situation and there's just no one to talk to, there's me. I'm not perfect but I'll listen  and help as much as I can. Send an email to

Finally, consciously remind yourself everyday that you are moving forward, you are fighting against all odds, you are heading for the light. Speak it out, don't murmur or say it in your heart. Set alarms, paste it on your walls, place it on your table so it's the first thing you see when you wake up. Oh something happened? Brought back the memories? Shattered the little hope you've gathered? Made you run down that lane of scary and seemingly true thoughts? Even as you are shedding tears, speak the words 'it will get better', 'this isn't meant to last', I'm seeing a different thing now but there will be change', 'there's a light, I will get to it', 'even though I don't understand how, it is working together for my good'. See and speak positively despite the present situation.

Meet with your maker everyday, not once, that's the whole point of going back to Him initially, a word of encouragement always lie in wait.
It will get better but you gotta 'move' first. Stop looking at present circumstances and get moving.


Popular posts from this blog


Her leg ached.
Her waist ached.
Her neck ached.
Dinma was all shades of uncomfortable and didn't know which part of herself to rely on. She turned her neck in quick rotations in an attempt to reduce the ache but it did her no good. She cursed within. This was supposed to be a fun and happy day, not one filled with aches from all parts of her body. The fact that She had been an usher did no good for her. Two hours is a long time to have been standing. She sighed resignedly. The girl beside her turned and smiled at her sympathetically, she managed a weak smile in return. The Security officials were still perambulating, disappearing and reappearing, she dared not sit. If she wasn't spotted from the podium, the officials would certainly see her. Only one person had been excused to sit because of illness and it had been announced to avoid display of smart stupidity.
She picked the ceremony booklet from her seat for the umpteenth time to check progress. There was still three pages …


If you are in a relationship; be it the one you were born into or the one you created, pain is inevitable. Simple reason being that we are humans, mortals, and it is in human nature to cause pain, to make mistakes. Even when it feels like the right thing, like a situation where you lie to protect someone you love, they can still find it hurtful because of differing views. Even if a person dedicates thier life to being and doing good, because of ''differing views'', something they do would come off as hurtful to someone in thier life.
Hurt and pain is inevitable. That's the simple truth. We only just learn how to deal with such times when it comes because it will.


Two stories.