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Personal memoirs - battles with my Mind


So I have one small long gist for you people. My mind has been fighting me. Lol yes it has a mind of it's own, true talk. The battle that goes on in my mind everyday is a real struggle. Most times it's funny e.g
#In church


Pastor: Every living soul shout hallelujah
Me: Halle -
Mind: (interrupting ) are you 'living?'
Me: I may not be living or 'living' but she said 'living soul'
Mind: lmao, are you a fool? If you are not 'living', how will your soul be living?
Me: (visibly angered but not wanting to stretch on the argument and win ofcourse ) do you have ass to laugh off?
Mind: yours na (laughs some more)
Me: hisses

Sometimes it's extreme, like it's fighting my faith and beliefs😮 even capabilities I've had since forever

#At a church program

Mike bamiloye: If Jesus is here for you, stand up and shout hallelujah
Everyone stands and shouts hallelujah
Me: (sits, waves and shout hallelujah )
Mind: you are right. I don't really think Jesus is here for you...us so why stand?

Me: (ignores the devil)

Mind: well, even if He was, you just missed it

Me: If He is here for me, even I I don't stand and shout, He'll show up. Is he not love again? By the way I am tired plus this baby I'm carrying is a handful

Mind: so if He is love, you should disobey? And now, probably cause you are thinking this, He will leave and won't return for you till 30/50 years after when you'll be required to stand and shout and you'll sit again and miss Him again😮 and you may not have another 50 years to meet Him.

Me: Shut up mind, I just missed about four sentences of preaching from the preacher. Shut up! Shut up! Just shut up! Shut your silly ass and mouth up already!

Mind: Goes mute.

Lol, I think I may have slapped it. But now, I'm regaining control over it 😊. Recently, it popped up during morning family devotion.

Father of the House: ....so he had just thirty more days. He served the devil all his life and just when he was about to die, he gave his life to God....

Mind: (calling on my attention ) hmmmmmm

Me: oginikwa? (What is it now) Are you now against people repenting?

Mind: (okay, this might have been devil himself not my mind, my mind has not backslided yet na, it was only having faith issues) is that not interesting? Won't call it serving Satan but more like freewill reigning. Enjoying yourself and doing whatever you want till time to die is close then you give in to Christ...win-win situation.

Me: (laughs for about thirty mins)

Mind: what?

Me: are you serious right now? Where is this one coming from? First of all, get thee away from I and my mind devil. Hian. And yes, your proposition is just flawed in so many ways. E.g You are very hungry, and then you are presented with three options; a cup of water, a cup of water and a plate of jollof rice, a cup of water, plate of jollof rice and meat and asked to pick one, which would you pick? Yes, you'll pick the last and I would call you greedy but it's not greed, you are hungry and you picked the best possible choice. That's what we do, we go for the best option. The will of God is the best option when you place it side by side with my will or any other so ofcourse I'll choose for the will of God to reign over mine. (Was tempted to add dumbass). Then what exactly is your definition of enjoyment? Because the way you said it, it sounds like it's sin so i can't possibly enjoy such in christ.  Is it partying, clubbing? Sex? Drinking? What exactly?  If it's any of the above, who told you that you are enjoying? Should I detail how you are even killing yourself and reducing your lifespan with each before bringing in God and bible? I'm not sure you want me to. Is it the freedom to act anyhow, say anything, spend wastefully? What exactly are you calling enjoyment? Christ is helping us save ourselves cause they come with issues that can eventually destroy you but we wont heed. I'm enjoying enough as it is. I have a wonderful family, wonderful sisters, ama-mazing friends, I got the joy of the Lord, I have a terrible job lol everything must not be rosy, let me not go into details for what I do for fun, it's weird but atleast I watch movies and hang out too. My life is happy and peaceful. I have everything I need in Christ. When it gets tough, He sees me through. I'm practically a living enjoyment. And to even think that living a life of enjoyment in your opinion and freewill equals serving the devil who has nothing to offer makes me want to go the other way - the only 'way' - the best way. Living for Christ is the best thing ever. You have everything and more. Those 'blessings' the devil seemingly offers lie with Christ where you get it for free without pay and with an extra package of peace! Unlike devil that adds sorrow, headache, disappointments after you have paid for the so-called gift. He is no competition to Christ. Whatever he offers is temporal. Christ is everything. Living for Him is the best thing. You build for Him on earth and for yourself up there, you leave a legacy here that will be felt for years, you make an impact in generations. You live abundantly and peacefully. But imagine that you have to serve somborri and before you die, you quickly denounce him, lol what kind of life is that? Even you, know that he is not the real deal and then you waste your life doing what is not the real deal. Hmm...see? Your logic is flawed. Devil pushes you to kill yourself by yourself before you eventually die. There's nothing to gain there.

Lol. Father in the House was reading prayer point then. I had to go read up the open heavens later. Lol I must have spoken so fast and for long, my mind went into shock for the rest of the day. Lol it couldn't believe I could talk that much. 
Haha! I'm winning!  That's my gist. 



#personalmemoirs

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Love
       Kamby 

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