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DEALING WITH HURT IN RELATIONSHIPS

House of Dandy

If you are in a relationship; be it the one you were born into or the one you created, pain is inevitable. Simple reason being that we are humans, mortals, and it is in human nature to cause pain, to make mistakes. Even when it feels like the right thing, like a situation where you lie to protect someone you love, they can still find it hurtful because of differing views. Even if a person dedicates thier life to being and doing good, because of ''differing views'', something they do would come off as hurtful to someone in thier life.
Hurt and pain is inevitable. That's the simple truth. We only just learn how to deal with such times when it comes because it will.

First tip is: don't be quick to anger or conclusion. How about we communicate first? Communication brings understanding and where it was not utilized to prevent the hurt by the guilty party, it can be used to get through it by the victim. E.g when a friend lies to you or you hear of something they did wrong, no matter how guilty they seem or who the information is coming from, talk with them first. There might be a good reason that will bring everything Into perspective or a stupid reason that will make the pain lessen when you see its just a silly mistake or there will be your reason to understand that it's time to move on from that relationship. Always give the benefit of doubt especially where it's a relationship that means something to you. Don't go on a tantrum of, how could you do this? I trusted you, i loved you, i helped you. Be sure it's not a mistake and that they actually committed the said act with the wrong inntentions, so you don't regret sometime after.

Second Tip: be open to forgiving. A quote says to err is human, to forgive is divine. Couldn't be more true. It's an inherent nature of humans to err hence this post. At some point in life, we are bound to err, we can't avoid it. But forgiving is not inherent in humans. It's a divine nature. But an acquirable divine nature. You can't live a live that involves doing away with everyone who hurts you or every relationship that hurts you. Mistakes will always be made. Whoever next that replaces the previous will still do hurtful things. Don't run at the first sign of trouble or disagreement. How about resolving issues? It's not always all rosy. It's never all rosy so sometimes we forgive because that's the best way to deal with the hurt.

Third Tip: Don't be vengeful. Sometimes the relationship doesn't work out. Maybe it's irreparable or you were betrayed or you lost something so valuable because of one's actions, not mistakes but intentional acts. Don't plan a revenge. The best way to deal with pain that can't be corrected is to feel it and let go. Holding unto it is hurtful and unhealthy. It gives no room for moving on. Revenge equals holding on to the pain. Moving on is for yourself not for the one who hurt you. No matter what may have happened, let go. Stop looking for a way to pay back. Move on. That is the best way to deal with such kinds of pain. Fun fact? Revenge doesn't ease the pain or make you feel any better and when you come to that realization, it's quite frustrating. If it can't be resolved or forgiven, simply move on.

Any thoughts? Comment below.

Love
     Kamby


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