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This is not my favourite topic to talk about because of the ‘gory’ details but it’s a necessary evil considering the century we are in. Like many other things in this 21st century, there are so many false truths flying about concerning sex. Perverted stories of what sex is and what it is for. Here’s ten basic things or more you need to know and tell others about sex.

1.     Sex is for marriage only:  number one truth. Sex was created by God for married couples alone. There’s no ground or justification that can be given for sex outside marriage. You’re about to be married is not a reason. You’re dating is the worst possible reason. You want to see if she can conceive is wrong. The most recent lie going around now especially in the western world is that the right time to have sex is when you are ready. The right time to have sex is when you are married not ready. Sex is not a knowledge gained by experience outside the right circumstances. The end result is always hurt.

2.    Sex joins the ‘doers’ both physically and spiritually whether you believe it or not: That you are not a Christian or not a believer in God doesn’t change this fact. Spirituality and things we can’t comprehend exist. So, breaking news….sex has spiritual backing. When you have sex with someone, you join with the person in the spirit also and exchange spirits, both good and bad. So things can get really good or really bad thereafter.

3.    If you are not married, no excuse makes it right: That you are going to get married or that you are in love or whatever it is, is not an excuse. Sex is made for marriage. Outside marriage, it comes with a lot of avoidable issues. If you both later get married, the punishment is mitigated but that is not an excuse as many don’t make it to marriage after the sex.

4.    Sex is not the in-thing, it is the in-sin: many believe it is the in-thing. It makes you a man, a tough or badt girl, a celebrity among your peers, it makes you popular in your click. That’s just the story you are told. When school is over, when you step into life, all the damages gotten from your various escapades starts reeling in. A sin should not be your in-thing. That everyone is doing it doesn’t make it right.

5.    Actually not everyone is doing it but many are falling for it: “everyone is doing it” is a phrase that has made many victims. Why not ask him, how everyone who is doing it turned out. Not everyone is doing it! But saying everyone is doing it makes people fall for it…don’t fall for that. There are those who are abstaining out there, don’t give in just because you think everyone is doing it.

6.    There are so many risks associated with sex outside marriage that are very much worth avoiding and it is fallacy to believe that you can be very careful: You can always fall into the trap of unwanted pregnancy, getting infected with any of the STDs or the father of them all which is AIDs. You can also end up with great future disappointment that might leave you permanently damaged emotionally. You can also end up with major heartbreak that leaves you hanging unto the past and nursing hatred in your heart. Things that can hinder your growth in all spheres of life suddenly become your next door neighbour, so why not just avoid the risk and wait for the right time huh?

7.    Sex is not an experiment….experimenting to know if you are fertile, to know your sexual preferences, to know who you can end up with, to gain experience. Once you involve God and end up with the one He made for you, every other thing including sex flows on easily. If problems or misunderstandings arise, you both can discuss it and plan on how to do better. Experience or experimentation is not enough reason to experience No. 6 above or to live a life of sin.

8.    Sex is not a proof of love: this is false on so many levels. Love is not sex neither is sex love. That’s a wrong notion. Sex is a pleasure God created for married couples to spice up the marriage and for procreation. It can be an added bonus to love but it is never a means of proving you love someone especially outside marriage.

9.    Condom guarantees nothing: many consider condom as a savior from all the unwanted issues with sex outside marriage. I’m sure those who feel for the trap have different views. It may prevent pregnancy, even STDs but it doesn’t prevent the spiritual effects, it doesn’t prevent the emotional outbursts and disappointments. It is not a safe haven so don’t consider it as one.

10. Sex doesn’t stop the menstrual pain: yes, some actually are deceived by this but its another wrong notion about sex. For some ladies, the blood flow is normal with a lot of pain while for some, its much with no pain. But sex doesn’t cure the pain. In fact, during menstruation, your chances of being pregnant is 100 percent.  There are drugs that can be taken to reduce the pain but not sex.

11.  Avoid the after effects and you're okay: that you manage to avoid getting pregnant or having successful abortion or not contacting STDs doesn’t make it right. Cups are created for drinking while spoons are for eating or to scoop. Using a spoon to drink and using the cup to eat will certainly not go well. Sex is created for marriage, wait till then. I promise you that you will not regret it.

Any thoughts? please do share.


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p.s final announcement....finally, my e-book is coming out and this time for real..on the 31st of october. its for free! all you need to do is subscribe to the blog and it will be delivered straight to your e-mail. 


  1. Awesome piece. Sex is sacred for HOLY matrimony. Many are yet to understand this principle. Preach on sis!

    I can't wait to read your e-book o. How do we subscribe?

  2. i can't wait too. thanks. you can subscribe at the right hand corner of the blog. i'll input a subscription box in the next post to make it easier

  3. Just came across this blog through Pammie crib. This is a wonderful piece and I agree with you. Sex is made for marriage. Sex before marriage to me is an experiment but should be avoided because when marriage comes, sex can be done almost everyday but sometimes get tired. Interesting piece dear.. Keep it up!

  4. thank you. don't forget to subscribe


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